Worship Leaders

When Others Don't Feel Like Serving

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Last week I wrote about serving when you don’t feel like it. But what about when people serving alongside of you do not feel like serving? Part of leading is shepherding your own team members off the platform to an even deeper degree than the leading you do from the platform in song, word, and liturgy.

Every person is unique, every circumstance different, but here are six considerations when it comes to walking with a team member who doesn’t feel like serving:

What is at the bottom. Is this a one off? A rough rehearsal? Conflict with a team member, the church, or in their personal life? Is this a reoccurring pattern?

Finding and reevaluating rhythms. My current expectation with the team I lead is that everyone is available at least twice a month. That does not mean they will necessarily be scheduled twice a month, just that I want them to be available twice a month. But when I audition new members, and communicate with regular team members - I communicate my expectation and ask, ‘How often would you be willing or interested to serve?’ Finding rhythms that are workable for our team expectation and the individual team members has been incredibly helpful for me in scheduling, as well as correcting my expectation of the team members.

Regular communication. Regular communication rhythms like feedback loops, and annual touchpoints or reviews can be helpful. But so can general conversation with your team members - ‘How is work? What do you have coming up this Summer? How is your family? Is this rhythm of serving still working for you? Do you need to take some time off? How can I pray for you? What does support look like for you in this next season?’

Know your people. One of the things that has been so helpful for me in learning the Enneagram is that I have a recognition that not everyone sees the world as I do. I don’t need to type every person I know how to know how to interact with them, but acknowledging that not everyone acts, behaves, or is motivated in the same way I am frees me to not expect from people to be anything or anyone other than themselves.

Time off. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of the dreaded, ‘I just can’t serve anymore,’ conversation. In my experience, these conversations usually reveal deeper (and often unrelated) issues. If you are having people express burnout, invite them to take time off rather than quit altogether. I would much rather be down a team member for a few weeks or months than loose a team member permanently.

Model what you want. When we gather to pray, I will often confess in my prayers how my heart feels scattered, and my affections are splintered, asking God to unite my heart, and our team to serve him and his people. I want my people to know they are safe with me, and can be honest and vulnerable - that does not scare me, and certainly doesn’t scary the God who knows us better than we know ourselves.

How about you?

How might you encourage a team member who doesn’t feel like serving?

When You Don't Feel Like Serving

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I love leading sung worship. But some days, I don’t feel like leading worship. Some days I feel mad at God, frustrated with my situation, at odds with a brother or sister in Christ, unprepared, empty, or too distracted to be remotely present to the gift and responsibility to stand before the people of God and invite them to behold the Lord.

Living in a fallen world means our circumstances will never be perfect, often they will not even be ideal. Following Jesus means following Him on the mountains as well as into and through the valleys.

So what do we do when you don’t feel like leading? Here are three suggestions:

Be honest. Sometimes the simple act of truthfully confessing to the Lord, or to a trusted brother or sister is enough to free me from a funk. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. Take the first step, be honest. Acknowledging your feelings and emotions begins to loosen the silent stranglehold.

Confess. Sometimes my sin, pride, or ego are tied up with why I do not want to lead worship. Is there something I need to confess - to God and or to my brothers and sisters?

Serve. Part of growing as an adult is fulfilling your responsibilities even when you do not feel inspired or motivated. In the post last week, I shared about how serving is an invitation to something and Someone outside of self. Part of serving well is moving through my own emotions, preferences, and agenda to participate in the larger story.

What would you add to this list?

Serving

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I get weird about the words we use in church. It’s not a stage, it’s a platform. We’re followers of Jesus rather than Christians. We’re not gigging, playing, singing, or even volunteering - we’re serving. For me, serving carries the idea that we are here for Someone and something outside of ourselves. We have responsibilities apart from our own goals and agenda. And our serving should be in response to the God who “…came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).”

How might we model service in our serving? Perhaps it looks like:

Serving the congregation you have, not the congregation you wish you had. Serving with the musicians you have, not the musicians you wish you had. Serving with the equipment you have, not the equipment you wish you had.

Sometimes that might mean choosing a key that wouldn’t be your first choice.

Sometimes that might look like introducing a song that will speak to your people but may not have been at the top of your list.

At one year's LIFT Conference, I heard Christy Nockels talk about how she envisions leading worship as table waiting - choosing the linens, cutlery, and the meal's pacing.

When we come to the house and table of the Lord, it is always God himself who is the feat. And waiting on this table means we are not focused on our own consumption or the feeding of a few, but at the insistence of the Master of the feast, we call people to taste and see that the Lord is good (Luke 14:23, Psalm 34:8).

The Louder Song

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Whatever has been of 2023, and whatever will be of 2024 - may the song of the Father be louder than the song of your enemies (Psalm 13:2).

“The Lord your God is in your midst,

    a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

    he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.” - Zephaniah 3:17

2023 In Review

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I love speaking with people about corporate worship. I love speaking with people working through a theology of worship, the practical realities of serving on a team, or with volunteers. I think that is why I write about worship - I love that we as followers of Jesus, and worshipers get to think through how we encourage and equip the saints to worship with beauty and truth. As 2023 draws to an end, I wanted to collect all of my Friday posts in one place. I hope these words have been helpful to you:

Recommended Reading [Part 6]

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These are books that have challenged and encouraged me over the past year. I hope you’ll find some that can be useful to you as well:

Beholding - Strahan Coleman

We lead out of who we are. One of the things I appreciated about this book was how it encourages becoming - growing in our experience of God. We become what we behold.

The Secret Place of Thunder - John Starke

John is a great writer, and I have found his writing on prayer particularly helpful. But the tagline alone is worth the cost of the book: ‘Trading our need to be noticed for a hidden life with Christ.’ Whether we stand on large platforms in front of many people, or in the corner at the front of a small room - we are all easily tempted to trade hiddenness for being noticed.

Honest Worship - Manuel Luz

Manuel articulated some of the things I have wrestled with the past several years: How to have deep formation in our gatherings with creativity and musical excellence—the intersection of ancient practice with modern context. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed and appreciated this book.

A Church Called Tov - Scot McKnight, Laura Barringer

We are either working toward beauty, goodness, and truth, or we are drifting toward the opposite. Whether you are on staff at a church, serving as a volunteer, or attending as a member, each of us can - and should - work toward creating a culture of goodness within our churches. This book will likely become perennial reading for me.

Liturgical Resources

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“Tradition is a set of solutions for which we have forgotten the problems.” - Donald Kingsbury

I love hymns.

I love that liturgy forms us as disciples.

I love how reading, singing, and praying ancient words remind us that we are connected to a global Church that spans culture, continent, language, and generation.

Although some of my early church experience involved elements of formal liturgy, it was not until I was in college that I began to encounter liturgical rhythms and resources.

Other worship leaders, pastors, and liturgists would talk about the Church Calendar, seasonal colors, readings, prayers, and the intentional movements of the liturgy - but I could not understand how they knew all of that information. As I tried to find my feet in this context, the Worship Sourcebook was one of my most helpful resources. Explaining the seasons, and giving prayers, readings, confessions, and responsive elements for each season, and every service. Even as my understanding of Liturgical rhythms and the library of books has grown - this is always one of the first places I turn as I think, pray, and plan services.

More recently, I have incorporated the Book of Common Prayer into my preparation. A few of the elements I have come to appreciate about the BCP is that many prayers are incredibly succinct. Although I love using the Valley of Vision during times of personal devotion, I value the accessibility in language and the brevity of word count used in the BCP when it comes to corporate worship.

I think it is important to speak to current events in the gathering, but sometimes those events can feel like landmines in a service. But the BCP has a prayer for countless realities of living in a fallen world. When I can’t find my own words, when a topic feels important but delicate - I look for the ways the BCP can guide our congregation’s prayer and response.

How about you? Are there resources you use regularly that you have found helpful in thinking and planning intentionally for the gathering?

Participation Vs Observation

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“The church must worship, and worship and entertainment are at opposite ends of the table.” - A.W. Tozer

I have been thinking quite a bit about the line between worship and entertainment these days. In part because over the past 18 months, our church has been in the process of finding quotes, establishing a budget, raising money, and seeking grant monies for a major audio-visual update of our space. More than just the physical reality of new equipment, we have had to determine how our convictions shape not only the kind of equipment we purchase but how it is used during the weekly gathering.

Like many things in our world, there is an opportunity for polarization when it comes to style, equipment, and the implementation of technology in the corporate gathering. There are churches by conviction or default have a simple setup. Sometimes these churches will accuse the high production value of another church of being distracting, performative, and putting on a concert rather than leading people in worship. And there are churches that are early adopters of new technology, always at the cutting edge of the latest and greatest technology, style, or song. These churches can often accuse simpler churches of being distracting, unwilling to use technology to engage the world, and behind the times.

Everyone has personal preferences tied up in music, volume, aesthetics, and style that are important to acknowledge. I think it’s also important to acknowledge that in many cases the convictions we carry about the implementation of technology and how we chase the latest and greatest or cling to simplicity is a second and third-tier issue. Jesus-loving, Bible-believing Christians can hold different convictions around these ideas and still be in fellowship with one another.

This is an area that can be gray. But I have started wondering if we are asking the wrong questions. Perhaps the better questions here would be: Are the decisions we make encouraging participation or observation?

Participation is worship - it is liturgy - the work of the people. Observation is entrainment - it is passive and encourages consumerism.

I believe in some ways this question frees us to make decisions with our unique congregation in mind. It does however require an awareness of the culture, the people we serve, and a clear philosophy of worship that is rooted in something longer-lasting than style and technology.

Are the decisions we make encouraging participation or observation? In some ways, this question seems almost pre-Reformation. One of the things we see during the Reformation is the tendency all Christians have to outsource their faith to “the professionals.” The Mass was observed in a language many did not speak or understand - they became passive observers, rather than active participants. What was true 500 years ago is true today - participation is an essential part of the corporate gathering.

Tuesday Refocus: November 28

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“There is nothing I dread more than having my heart drawn away by earthly objects.” - George Whitefield

Our hearts are more easily tempted than we would like to admit. 

Our desires are warped and shaped by sin more than we are aware. 

Our feet run after other gods more than they keep to the narrow road.

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.” - James 1:14

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.” - 1 John 2:16

How do we combat this reality? With a new heart, a transformed mind, and renewed affections. But no amount of striving or effort is sufficient to accomplish and sustain this kind of change. No, these realities are a gift of God.

”Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” - James 1:17

Father, may you accomplish what only You can accomplish in us and through us. By the power of the Spirit, for the glory of the Son, in Christ’s name, amen.

Amen,

AB

Hidden Visibility

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In one of the churches of my youth, our Worship Pastor was classically trained. He could lead a band, conduct an orchestra, and direct a choir. He did not lead from an instrument, and truthfully, very rarely did he lead vocally. If you asked him, he likely would not have thought he was a brilliant vocalist. Most Sundays there was a small choir, a piano-driven band, and a handful of vocalists leading at the edge of the platform - and Steve off to the side, with a largely unoccupied microphone on a stand.

One of the things I have come to appreciate about Steve’s leadership as I have grown older is that when he led, he carried enough presence for the congregation to follow, without dominating the songs and setlist. He would give visual cues with his hands, raise his eyes, and turn toward the congregation when it was time to sing. But much of his leadership enabled the people of God to address ‘…one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord…’ (Ephesians 5:19).

When I began leading worship at our church in the United Kingdom, it took me - and them - months to learn the ebb and flow following one another. They would sing with such volume and confidence, and many times I would start to lead a song, but by the end of the song, they were leading me.

As production quality continues to increase across churches, as churches across denominational and cultural borders begin to look more alike, as backing tracks and strict time limits become more common, as congregations anticipate (or expect) their church worship teams and worship leaders look, sound, and lead like what they see online - some of the questions I am asking myself:

How can I lead with hidden visibility? Especially as someone who does lead from an instrument, who does lead vocally. I do not want the people I lead to observe my leadership as spectators but participate as worshipers. I want to lead with enough conviction, competence, and presence that people do not just think I am in my own ‘worship world.’ Nor do I want to lead as a performer or showman.

How am I encouraging increased ‘one-anothering’ in the corporate gathering? I do want to have so little margin, so little capacity for in-the-moment response that our services feel rigid. I do not want to be so visible - or so loud - that our congregation cannot hear the voices of the people of God as we sing to God or to one another.

As I think, pray, and plan for 2024 - Hidden Visibility is one of my goals.

Tuesday Refocus: November 21

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“Lord, let not our souls be busy inns that have no room for thee or thine, but quiet homes of prayer and praise, where thou mayest find fit company, Where the needful cares of life are wisely ordered and put away, And wide, sweet spaces kept for thee; where holy thoughts pass up and down and fervent longings watch and wait thy coming.” - Julian of Norwich

On the edge of this advent season, may our hearts be drawn near and plunged deeply into the weight and wonder of the coming of Christ - His first and His second. May this season be an opportunity to be increasingly present to the One who is always present with us - because He is in fact, God with us.

Father, for all the ways our attention and affection could be fractured in this season - would you unite our hearts to fear your name? In Jesus name, amen.

Amen,

AB

Reinventing The Wheel

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I try to suppress rolling my eyes when someone describes themselves as ‘a creative.’ I believe that all people are creative because all people have been made in the image of a creator God. Generally, I think when people describe themselves this way, they mean that they are artistic.

One of the things I have seen in myself, and in working with creative artists is that we can often act as though change is a virtue. We want to explore the boundaries and edges of our creativity! New and unexpected is better than same and constant. And when you marry this kind of disposition to an attractional style of church (‘We need to have a draw, a show, something impressive that grabs attention, to get non-Christians in the door so they can hear about Jesus’), we can quickly become worship leaders that feel they need to reinvent the wheel week after week.

The longer I lead worship, the more convinced I am that leading worship is about the spiritual formation of God’s people. That it is about making disciples. And as it has been said - there is no formation without repetition (I don’t remember who said this first, but I am guessing I heard this from Jon Tyson or John Mark Comer). Are we truly, discipling and forming our people if the goal of our leading is to make every Sunday a unique, once-in-a-lifetime experience? I like change and I like employing creativity in the gathering. But I hope the aim and purpose driving those decisions is a deeper formation of the people of God, not just a cool and creative experience. Churches, cultures, leaders, and people have different styles, goals, and callings. There is not one particular way of serving the Lord which is morally superior. But like all things we are in danger of drifting away from our first love - especially if we do not acknowledge the ease with which we can drift.