Working With Your Pastor

Relationships are never easy. They require time, communication, effort, forgiveness, and grace upon grace. The relationship between a worship leader and a pastor has layers of complicated dynamics at play: they are often your boss (your direct manager), your pastor (helping to shepherd your soul as a follower of Jesus), a friend (a relationship that exists outside of merely working together), a mentor (walking with you in personal relationship toward the Lord), and your employer (responsible in some way for your livelihood). These are complex and overlapping circles of relationship. While every person is unique, every relationship specific to the individuals involved, as I reflect on some of the relational pain, as well as evidence of God’s grace in relationships with pastors I have served alongside, here are a few things I hope will benefit you as you seek to work, worship, and serve in relationship with your pastor.

Focus on your own personal holiness. I am often reminded of Robert Murray McCheyne’s exhortation to pastors, ‘The greatest need of my people is my personal holiness.’ I believe this could be true in all our relationships - relationships with our spouses, coworkers, classmates, children, parents, siblings, team, etc. When I am more concerned over my own need to be conformed to the image of Christ, I am far less concerned about the failings of others. We are all in desperate need of the same grace of God. And when we recognize our own need, and gratefully accept God’s grace, how could we be angry, impatient, hostile, or ambivalent toward the same need in others?

You are on the same team as your pastor. A team that is being pulled in different or opposing directions cannot succeed. We must all keep in step with the Spirit personally and as a team. You are not in competition over vision, direction, or time on the platform each weekend. When we are in competition, we are proudly serving our own kingdom, rather than in humility serving Christ’s kingdom. Ed Welch says

‘Prayer is evidence of humility. Prayerlessness means that we neither believe Him, which is pride, nor turn to Him because we prefer to trust ourselves.’ (Ed Welch, Running Scared).

Pray for your pastor. For their own personal holiness, for their walk with the Lord. For wisdom and discernment to lead and serve God’s people well. For protection from the Enemy. Pray for your own heart to know how to love, serve, and encourage your pastor as you serve side by side for the glory of God and the good of His people.

Your pastor needs your support and encouragement. Our pastors carry more things than we realize. How can you speak life and courage into the hearts, and into their ministry? Talk to them, not about them. Assume the best, give grace. Speak well of them in their presence as well as in their absence. Honor God by honoring your leaders.

Relationships take work, but that cannot be work done by a single individual. Healthy relationships will require both people dying to self, and seeking the good of the other. Unfortunately, even within the church, even among those leading and serving the church, this is not always representative of how we interact one with another. Because of our sin, because of the Enemy’s desire to bring disunity and chaos into the Body of Christ, because of our own experience and baggage, we stand in constant need of God’s grace, mercy, and kindness to keep and sustain our relationships.

If you are involved in a relationship with your pastor that is abusive in any way - please seek outside, expert care and counseling. I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans: ’If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.’ (Romans 12:18). The sad reality of living in the broken world is that sometimes - even when we have done everything we know to do - it is not possible to live peaceably with all.

If you’re a pastor, here are four things that you worship leader needs from you.

June 29: Tuesday Refocus

"Worship is not something we “work up,” it is something that “comes down” to us, from the character of God." - Sinclair Ferguson

Revelation and response are the rhythm of our worship (Rom 12:1).  God reveals Himself, and we respond.  There can in fact be no right worship, without God’s revelation of Himself - thus the reason we cannot ‘work up,’ our worship.  Right worship is the response of our whole lives to God’s revelation of Himself.  And where do we see God’s revelation of Himself?  Everywhere.  

Scripture tells us that no one is without excuse because God’s creation reveals our Creator (Rom 1:20, Ps 19:1).

People, all of whom are made in the image of God reveals some small glimpse of the Father (Gen 1:26, Gen 5:2).  

God’s Word reveals Himself to us - it is living and active, He inspired the Word to be written, He speaks through it even now (2 Tim 3:16, Heb 4:12).  

God reveals Himself through His Spirit, the One through whom we are led in all truth to Jesus (Jn 16:13).  

God reveals Himself through His Son, His great love in sending Jesus to pay the penalty for our sins (1 Jn 3:16, Rom 8:32).  

God reveals Himself in His Church, the ones who are tasked to love one another as Christ has loved us, to display His heart and character in our slow transformation to resemble our Savior in His life, death, and resurrection (Jn 13:35, Rom 6:5).

God reveals Himself in all of our brokenness.  The awareness that we are not - our world is not - as it should be.  God reveals Himself as the one who has come and is coming again to make all things new, wipe every tear, and see every sad thing become untrue (Rev 21:5, Is 65:17).

Don’t work up your worship, open your eyes to a God who has revealed Himself in the darkest places as the One who illuminates our hearts.

Father, reveal yourself to us.  Give us eyes to see, ears to hear, hearts to comprehend, and lives to obey.  Let us respond to You with worship.  Amen.

To worship,

AB

Interview Questions: For A Worship Leader

Regardless of what side of the interview table you are on, interviews are stressful. The stakes are high, the time is too short to know anyone in any depth. Much less to assess their skills, heart, experience, and if their personality will fit well in your specific context. I have been the one being interviewed, and I have had many conversations with pastors, leaders, and search committees looking to hire a worship leader, I am always surprised at the kinds of questions that are asked - some great, some not so great.

If I was looking to hire a worship leader, here are a few questions that would be at the top of my list:

How would you describe the working relationship, and dynamic between you and your previous pastor or pastors? The relationship between a pastor and a worship leader can be tense. Whether the previous relationships have been healthy or completely dysfunctional, hearing how people speak about former coworkers or employers communicates a lot about their hearts. And understanding their history will help give you a sense of the type of hurts they may be carrying into a new team.

What does your workweek look like? The smallest part of the time we as worship leaders spend in our week is the visible part - actually leading the congregation in corporate sung worship. What does preparation look like for this worship leader? How are they using their time not just to execute a weekly service, but to build into and grow the team, grow their own personal relationship with the Lord, and move this particular area of ministry ahead?

What would be the five songs you would want to introduce to any congregation where you are leading? This will help you understand not just the musical leanings of a worship leader, but their theological persuasion as well. Songs are contextual, theology is not. You are looking not just for a competent musician, but a competent theologian to build set lists and shepherd your people from the platform.

What is worship? Basic, I know. But you’re not hiring a musician primarily, you are hiring a theologian and shepherd. It is imperative that the person filling that role has at least a basic grasp on a theology of worship. And an understanding of how worship fits into the corporate gathering, and the rhythms of life.

What is the purpose of the corporate gathering? What you are trying to understand from this question is if the worship leader understands their role narrowly (only responsible for music), or as a small piece of a larger story - and how their role fits into that larger story.

These questions are not exhaustive, but hopefully, they will give you a greater ability to assess not just someone’s musical ability and character, but their personal understanding of worship, and the role of corporate worship in the life of the Church. If you are in the process of looking to hire a worship leader, let me help you ask the right questions, not just for the potential candidates, but of your church culture and organization as you begin that process. Send me an email here.